A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

To love truth for truth's sake is the principal part of human perfection in this world, and the seed-plot of all other virtues.

At the end of a marriage, no one wins. There is only anger, sorrow, guilt, emptiness, and defeat.

Isn't it amazing that we are all made in God's image, and yet there is so much diversity among his people?

I think it's important that we run that tension between the way things are, in terms of the way we're governed, and the way we sort of become complacent.

If you want to be a doctor, a lawyer you must go to college. But if you want to be a musician or such, study your craft. Study music.

If you can't drink a lobbyist's whiskey, take his money, sleep with his women and still vote against him in the morning, you don't belong in politics.

Your punishment if you're a woman. Not loved enough.

It does not to dwell on dreams and forget to live, but it is equally foolish to ignore the past – never forget.

I have a lot of beautiful friends.

Good -humor is goodness and wisdom combined.