Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.

Certainty is the most vivid condition of ignorance and the most necessarycondition for knowledge.

So-called restoration is at least as tricky as brain surgery. Most pictures expire under scalpel and sponge.

The force of mind is only as great as its expression; its depth only as deep as its power to expand and lose itself.

Virginius Pass, go across the Talus slope and pick up the route through the notch, it is steep, slippery, brutal.

Civilization is that mode of conduct which points out to man the path of duty.

There may not be one Truth - there may be several truths - but saying that is not to say that reality doesn't exist.

I'd rather work to live than live to work.

Nostalgia often leads to idle speculation.

If your actions are motivated by selfish interests rather than God, you are mortgaging tomorrow's joy.