Sarcastic Quotes

Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?

America is one long expectoration.

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm.

She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people.

You know, you have to be an optimist, a pessimist, sarcastic and pleasant all at the same time to be a photographer.

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther.

That was a sarcastic remark pointing out that Bill Clinton has, quite a past, and Hillary Clinton has done quite a job on attacking the people who were victims of Bill Clinton.

I'm pretty sarcastic, and sometimes that doesn't come across on the Internet. It seems I'm being rude or stupid.

God was bored by him.

It's a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon "launder" became a dirty word.

He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.

A sarcastic blond genie with a bad attitude. -Clary, pg.243-

That’s the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell.

I’ve noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.

Perfume: any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word.

In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.

Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.

Ministers fall like buttered slices of bread: usually on their good side.

We are suffering from too much sarcasm.

Plus, I was about to spend six weeks with Christian Ozera. He was sarcastic, difficult, and made jokes about everything. Actually, he was a lot like me. It was going to be a long six weeks.

Congratulations on your job at the bank! Yes. You work for the bank. After taxes, your largest expense is your mortgage and credit-card debt.

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

Scotland: That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.

I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.

I'm very bubbly, so when people meet me, they sometimes think I'm fake. I'm excited to meet new people, but I guess I sound I'm being sarcastic.

I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes

I am pretty sarcastic and pretty dry.

If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.

If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies.

Folks always look good in their coffins.

Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm.

Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning?

It's easier to replace a dead man than a good picture.

The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

A married woman is a slave you must know how to seat upon a throne.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Or, as it's known to Native Americans - Sarcastic You're Welcomesgiving.

He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.

You think he left a big flashing arrow pointing to a filing cabinet labeled 'Evidence Here!'? He's a Stray, Ethan, not Wile E. Coyote!

The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.

One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand.

My mother was sarcastic and delightful and, trust me, quite remarkable.

Aw, now look at that, you're being sarcastic, aren't you?

I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me." "It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.

I said [ Barack Obama], the founder of ISIS. Obviously, I'm being sarcastic.But not that sarcastic, to be honest with you.

I'm really good at being sarcastic with guys. That's the best way to hang out with them, because that's what guys . They don't want the quiet, prissy little things.