Cathy Guisewite Quotes

Because the majority of my readers are women, I feel that one public service I can provide to them is to spread the message of regular mammograms and early detection within the strip.

Otherwise, my whole career has just been flinging myself at whatever is most overdue first and letting everything else stack up.

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

I was going to sip on a diet soda, but a little voice convinced me I needed the extra calcium from a cup of hot chocolate.

The story of a mother's life: Trapped between a scream and a hug.

Imagine my surprise when, after a lifetime of teaching me to keep personal things to myself, Mom insisted my drawings were the start of a comic strip for millions of people to enjoy.

Each of us wages a private battle each day between the grand fantasies we have for ourselves and what actually happens.

Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.

Every time I get something under control in my own life, the world provides more material.

Men date. Women have relationships.

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar.

The relationship between Cathy and Mom in the strip is the one relationship drawn from real life that I have proudly never even tried to disguise.

What happened to the good old days of "Woman as passive recipient?" What happened to being courted? What happened to sitting back under a parasol and granting someone a chance to try to win us over?

I can't tell my conscience from my insecurities.

Cartooning is a wonderful career, and I'd like more women to get to have it. I can't think of any reason why we won't see more syndicated female cartoonists in the future.

I'm lucky that my real-life Mom has both a great sense of humor about herself and an amazing ability to slip into complete denial if the subject matter gets a little too close to home.

Sometimes the best Christmas present is remembering what you've already got.

There are only two secrets to a slimmer shape ... High heels and shoulder pads!

I'm married, which means that instead of occasionally wondering about men from afar, I actually live with one and can be constantly astounded by the strange male brain.

Breaking up: It's so easy to return their possessions, but so hard to get our brain cells back.

In 1976 I wrote a lot about women trying to claim the right to work.

I've found it's better to talk to the machine and hang up if I get the person.

This is a business meal. The calories do not count. I am mentally labeling these as 'business calories' so my body will know they were eaten in the line of duty and will process them differently.

Wake me up when I'm a size 5.

I'm most proud of having created something that men never completely get.

Animal welfare issues have always been important to me.

I'm more financially successful, but it just means the shopping blunders I make are bigger now.

The biggest change in my life is that I now have to apologize for being thin.

I'd love to see more equal representation of female and male cartoonists on the comics page.

I understand the sensitivities of grown children with little ones of their own!! They'll turn away a mother full of advice, but they'll never say no to one holding a mop.

Now I'm searching for a slightly overweight, single, childless woman who doesn't have a date and isn't too depressing to be around. It's getting harder to find a girlfriend than a boyfriend.

Small wastebasket liners, $1.17 ... tall wastebasket liners, $2.29 ... garbage can liners, $3.98 ... I think I just spent $7.44 buying something I'm going to throw away.

My heart always belongs to the one who doesn't want it.

The specific story line that people have responded to the most has been the horror of bathing suit shopping.

[On men:] I'm torn between wanting to have one and wanting to be one.

After 14 years of dieting, there are only two things I've never lost. Hope and weight.

Food ... love ... mother ... career ... Live every day to the fullest. Partake of the four basic guilt groups.

One day, in 1982, for 15 minutes, my hair was perfect.

I have an office in my house and one about five minutes from my house. I worked solely out of my house for many years, but find, with children, that I have to be in a different ZIP code to think.

A young bride can put on makeup at 6 in the morning and look fabulous at midnight. I have about a 15-minute window where I actually look good, and then I have to wash my face and start over.

So often, happiness is the extent to which we balance our grandiose expectations with reality.

Men should come with instruction booklets.

Allow yourself to graduate, every five years.

I wanted Cathy and Irving to actually say 'I do' and be pronounced husband and wife on Feb. 5, which is my mom's birthday.