Humor Quotes
We trust, sir, that God is on our side. It is more important to know that we are on God's side.
My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully.
I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
it is not every tourist who bubbles over with mirth, and that unquenchable spirit of humor which turns a trial into a blessing.
Non-comprehenders are often distressed. Not you, though-because with good humor you're blessed. After all, your thoughts went like this, I dare say: It was none but the Lord who made us that way.
Writers are encouraged to "keep 'em laughing" and complain "with good humor" in order to "win" allies. The joke is always on ourselves.
God probably thinks it’s worth giving a sense of humor only to those of us who have to laugh at all the rubbish bits that are wrong with us.
Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in "dialect" and humor in slang.
PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.
It is the saying of an ancient sage that humor was the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor.
The reason why Absurdist plays take place in No Man's Land with only two characters is primarily financial.
Nor is it of much Importance to us to know the Manner in which Nature executes her laws; 'tis enough to know the Laws themselves.
How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?"
You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, have a truck hit you, and you'd say "My Bad!".
I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening!
Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
In a way, the political cartoon drawings are things that are small and have humor and a childhood aesthetic and are often stronger to spread an opinion.
The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor.
Investigation?" Isabelle laughed. "Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names." "Good idea," said Jace. "I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein.
I think a sense of humor is a very personal thing, and I don't know if I am talented enough to do romantic comedies.
It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be.
I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.
I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I'm a rip-off of Eddie Murphy.
People have lost their sense of humor. In former times, we constantly made jokes about different races.
