I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

When the leader goes wayward, the organization goes wayward.

To be afraid of sorrow is to be afraid of joy also.

Don’t ever yell at me. I don’t yell, so talk to me in a regular voice.

A decision clouded with doubt is never a good decision

Public misbehavior by the famous is a powerful teaching tool.

We should live in such a way that our lives wouldn't make much sense if the gospel were not true.

Hypocrisy is no cheap vice; nor can our natural temper be masked for many years together.

It is not enough to know what is good: you must be able to do it.

The best part about getting knocked down is standing back up knowing what you didn't before.

My playing is fairly straightforward, really, and everything's pretty much standard no frills or special effects.