Humor Love Quotes

Humor Love Quote of the day

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes.

I've learned that you know your husband still loves you when there are two brownies left and he takes the smaller one.

It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.

I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.

A sense of humor is the best indicator that you will recover; it is often the best indicator that people will love you. Sustain that and you have hope.

I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.

I’d said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass.

Never miss a party...good for the nerves--like celery.

You know, most men would get discouraged by now. Fortunately for you, I am not most men!

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

I've learned that it doesn't matter how your husband squeezes the toothpaste, the important thing is how he squeezes you.

Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike.

How could I be sleeping with this particular man.... Surely only true love could justify my lack of taste.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.

I have to go. I have a finite amount of life left and I don't want to spend it arguing with you.

Falling in love is painful on the knees.

Westley: This is true love — you think this happens every day?

I don't like it when I outweigh my men.

Have you not love enough to bear with me, when that rash humor which my mother gave me makes me forgetful.

I love to write humor. If I could make a living doing it that is all I would write. The happiest period of my life is when I was writing the sequels to "MASH". I was able to ridicule everyone.

The most incomprehensible thing in the world to a man, is a woman who rejects his offer of marriage!

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

Close your eyes, and think of someone you physically admire, and let me kiss you.

I guess the sacrifice of my dignity is the only thing that will save us now. The things I endure for love. The Fates laugh at my torment.

I still love him so much I'll hide any amount of conjugated estrogen in his food. So much I'll do anything to destroy him.

Would you mind repeating that? I'm afraid I might have lost my wits altogether and just hallucinated what I've longed to hear.

And I loved Fats Waller. I love his instrumental abilities, his vocal abilities and his sense of humor.

And by golly, love sure was a battlefield. Benatar was right about that.

Why did he have to be so gorgeous? Why did he have to stand so close, and why did I still love him so much?

From space this Earth is incandescent with abominations - the gods write their signature in our entrails

To me you are a work of art, and I would give you my heart - that's if I had one.

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.

I'm amused by a lot of things. I love humor. I'm constantly joking around.

I love doing meta-humor, as long as it doesn't become too distracting and it's subtle.

I fight with love and i laugh with rage....you gotta live light enough to see the humor, and long enough to see some change.

I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.

I love to write humor. If I could make a living doing it that is all I would write.

Well, no, not married as such, but yes, there is a specific girl that I'm not married to.

One should always be in love. That's the reason one should never marry.

Shhh, it's okay Cait, Daddy will be back. I am going to take care of you, just like Uncle Drake takes care of Mommy. Shhh honey, you don't need to cry, "Jaks whispered.

its better to get hurt now than to get hurt later.