I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'

You have a... remarkable memory.""I remember everything about you. You're the one who wasn't paying attention.

I, a miserable wretch, haunted by a curse that shut up every avenue to enjoyment.

Men often bear little grievances with less courage than they do large misfortunes.

The memory of a good deed lives.

I can only say with deeper sincerity and fuller significance what I have always said in theory - Wait God's will.

Our body is simply a social structure made of many souls.

The girls in kindergarten would chase us boys around trying to kiss us. Im proud to say I was the first to stop running.

I have known great things and wonderful persons, and I have known homage

History is representational, while time is abstract; both of these artifices may be found in museums, where they span everybody's own vacancy

There is no disease more conducive to clinical humility than aneurysm of the aorta.