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Humor Funny Quotes

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Humor Funny Quotes: "Humor is... despair refusing to take itself seriously."

Humor is... despair refusing to take itself seriously.



Humor Funny Quotes: "She has a wash and wear bridal gown."

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.




Humor Funny Quotes: "That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone."

That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.



Humor Funny Quotes: "If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses."

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.




Humor Funny Quotes: "A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself."

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.



Humor Funny Quotes: "I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one."

I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one.



Humor Funny Quotes: "You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful."

You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.




Humor Funny Quotes: "I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that."

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.



Humor Funny Quotes: "I laugh almost everyday. I have a good sense of humor, so I'm always finding something funny."

I laugh almost everyday. I have a good sense of humor, so I'm always finding something funny.



Humor Funny Quotes: "One matter Englishmen don't think in the least funny is their happy consciousness of possessing a deep sense of humor."

One matter Englishmen don't think in the least funny is their happy consciousness of possessing a deep sense of humor.



Humor Funny Quotes: "When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way."

When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way.



Humor Funny Quotes: "It's funny - there's nothing that stops you laughing like the sight of other people laughing about something else."

It's funny - there's nothing that stops you laughing like the sight of other people laughing about something else.




Humor Funny Quotes: "I found my personal style in black humor and mixing funny things with very touching ones - like trying to force people to cry and smile almost at the same moment."

I found my personal style in black humor and mixing funny things with very touching ones - like trying to force people to cry and smile almost at the same moment.



Humor Funny Quotes: "I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are."

I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Rats have a sense of humor. Rats, in fact think the world is very funny. And they are right, dear reader. They are right."

Rats have a sense of humor. Rats, in fact think the world is very funny. And they are right, dear reader. They are right.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead."

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.



Humor Funny Quotes: "It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people."

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.



Humor Funny Quotes: "We men are fascinated by the things we don't really understand. It gives us something to think and talk about: like females, they drive us nuts."

We men are fascinated by the things we don't really understand. It gives us something to think and talk about: like females, they drive us nuts.



Humor Funny Quotes: "You know very well that I no longer think. I am far too intelligent for that."

You know very well that I no longer think. I am far too intelligent for that.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Whenever you feel like feeling like a devil's advocate, Bible-thump. That, in a worldly world, is the great irony and satire of evangelism."

Whenever you feel like feeling like a devil's advocate, Bible-thump. That, in a worldly world, is the great irony and satire of evangelism.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too."

Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too.



Humor Funny Quotes: "I like books that are funny, but that aren't trying to be funny. I like situational humor."

I like books that are funny, but that aren't trying to be funny. I like situational humor.



Humor Funny Quotes: "I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge."

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Humor is essential to survival. Funny poems are vastly underrated. Very underwritten."

Humor is essential to survival. Funny poems are vastly underrated. Very underwritten.



Humor Funny Quotes: "I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me."

I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.



Humor Funny Quotes: "You have to realize that Mel [Gibson], he's a funny guy. He's got a wicked sense of humor."

You have to realize that Mel [Gibson], he's a funny guy. He's got a wicked sense of humor.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Emma, okay, enough with the singing. Mommy's getting a three-pill headache."

Emma, okay, enough with the singing. Mommy's getting a three-pill headache.



Humor Funny Quotes: "One of these days I'm gonna beat him in the face with the butt of my service revolver until an eyeball pops out. These are the thoughts that keep me happy."

One of these days I'm gonna beat him in the face with the butt of my service revolver until an eyeball pops out. These are the thoughts that keep me happy.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men."

Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.



Humor Funny Quotes: "We got there without being spotted. I pulled her in, then shut the door, pressing my back to it and exhaling like an epileptic pilot who'd just landed a cargo plane full of dynamite."

We got there without being spotted. I pulled her in, then shut the door, pressing my back to it and exhaling like an epileptic pilot who'd just landed a cargo plane full of dynamite.




Humor Funny Quotes: "And all those things you listed right now, they’rethings Garrett and I do together. Dude, you don’t want me. You want me andGarrett."

And all those things you listed right now, they’rethings Garrett and I do together. Dude, you don’t want me. You want me andGarrett.



Humor Funny Quotes: "someone like Grace. Someone exactly like Grace, with her Ted Bundy rantsand her calming presence and—hello, irony."

someone like Grace. Someone exactly like Grace, with her Ted Bundy rantsand her calming presence and—hello, irony.



Humor Funny Quotes: "I broke up with her to avoid getting into a serious relationship with her, and now it"

I broke up with her to avoid getting into a serious relationship with her, and now it



Humor Funny Quotes: "His eyes are a hazy swirl ofgray, like a thick mass of clouds gathering before an impending storm"

His eyes are a hazy swirl ofgray, like a thick mass of clouds gathering before an impending storm



Humor Funny Quotes: "People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required."

People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Faith is Hope on a treadmill. Love is the reason we stay on."

Faith is Hope on a treadmill. Love is the reason we stay on.




Humor Funny Quotes: "I trust you all slept well, ” I said, deliberately keeping my tone light. I returned Malich’s glare with a tight-lipped grin.“Yes, we did, ” Kaden answered quickly.“I’m sorry to hear that."

I trust you all slept well, ” I said, deliberately keeping my tone light. I returned Malich’s glare with a tight-lipped grin.“Yes, we did, ” Kaden answered quickly.“I’m sorry to hear that.



Humor Funny Quotes: "I m not funny, really m not !!! I just tell people the truth, and then they start laughing and say haha you are funny...but seriously m not!!!"

I m not funny, really m not !!! I just tell people the truth, and then they start laughing and say haha you are funny...but seriously m not!!!



Humor Funny Quotes: "So it's true what they say about warlocks, "

So it's true what they say about warlocks,



Humor Funny Quotes: "One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up."

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.



Humor Funny Quotes: "You still are? There go my plans! And the suit I had bought to attend your funeral. Well, well. Anyway, do call me up when you an't."

You still are? There go my plans! And the suit I had bought to attend your funeral. Well, well. Anyway, do call me up when you an't.



Humor Funny Quotes: "I love you all - if you are not people!"

I love you all - if you are not people!



Humor Funny Quotes: "Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly."

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you."

Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Wisdom of the Ages "Unsuccessful Town Slogans" Sequim (WA)- "We put the Dung in Dungeness."

Wisdom of the Ages "Unsuccessful Town Slogans" Sequim (WA)- "We put the Dung in Dungeness.



Humor Funny Quotes: "Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Just like me in 2003, it looks like Brian Williams ended up "Between Iraq and a Hard Place."

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Just like me in 2003, it looks like Brian Williams ended up "Between Iraq and a Hard Place.



Humor Funny Quotes: "MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?ME: MATH."

MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?ME: MATH.