Humor Funny Quotes

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.

Respect? Of course, always, to all, because everything seems funnier when you're trying to show respect.

When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!

I don't think the heavy stuff is gonna come down for quite a while!” ― Bill Murray character in Cadyshack

Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!" Michael Keaton character in "Mr. Mom

Everything is possible in America, except the production of intelligence.

Philadelphia is just the tip of the Pittsburgh.

I'm rarely rude except accidentally, and that doesn't really count...

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.

Like some huge, mutant chicken–I sat there hatching a gas-egg the size of a planet.

I would die for you, my love—in old age.

For what religion has never had sects? Rest assured, Extremism is always the derrière.

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

Nobody calls me 'blondie' and keeps their kneecaps.

It may be prodigious, but it's all Greek to me!

Its Batteries! I just know it!

I do not think, Prospero, ' he said, 'that one should attribute a very high degree of reality to your house.

Moms are so hard to understand! They'll never allow us to go on diet for fitness but forcefully make us fast in the name of God!~Swapna Rajput~

Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?

The greater the injury, the greater the fun.

Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.

Or should I say that he is like the hand that is able to scratch your itchy parts with the perfect amount of strength!