Golf Quotes
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off!
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division.
Golf is the one game I know which becomes more and more difficult the longer one plays it.
It's like living at an airshow, unless you have something against airplanes, golf, guns, motorcycles, nice cars or drinking.
If I go out one night, I must stay in the next. It's the same with my golf. If I play one day, I don't play the next. I try to pace myself.
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
Kids below 10 or 12, I think they just need to learn by playing at golf. Later on, in high school, when they develop muscles and everything, that's when they need to see about getting lessons.
Golf can be tougher than tennis when things go wrong, because you can't explain things by saying that your opponent played better than you. It's a cruel sport in that way.
The player had almost as much fun as the parent and coaches. This league is well worth the time the professionals put into it. I would encourage any professional to host a team.
The player may experiment about with his swing, his grip, his stance. It is only when he begins asking his caddie's advice that he is getting on dangerous ground.
When five up express, as is polite, regret at laying a stymie, but rejoice in your heart.
Besides good schools, a good airport, and the Cowboys, Dallas had golf courses, and golf was fast becoming an obsession with me.
Putting isn't golf, greens should be treated almost the same as water hazards: you land on them, then add two strokes to your score.
Somebody give me a banana. I'm playing like a monkey, so I might as well eat like one.
I tell people that stand-up's like golf: you gotta do it every day to get it down - or at least three times a week to get it down.
I don't have a lot of hobbies. I don't play golf. I don't have any children. Things that occupy people's time. I just try to take jobs.
I don't have any hobbies! I don't golf, I can't imagine what I would do if I retired other than get fat.
I couldn't tell you exactly what I like about golf. Just when you think you've got it mastered it lets you know you haven't. I'm just crazy enough to do it.
Acting is a great gig. It pays well, I get to meet some nice people, and it allows me to play a lot of golf. I'm a real lucky guy.
I love sports. I play golf now, which is relatively new for me. I only took it up about five years ago. I also like playing piano, and I love being with my family and friends.
The game just embarrasses you until you feel inadequate and pathetic. You want to cry like a child.
My boyfriend loves golf and he is good at it but I am not that great at it. It drives me nuts, but I'm super competitive and I always want to win.
The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.
I was in the middle of the golf tournament trying to make birdies and I was just having a blast. So that probably qualifies as having a greater appreciation.
I went and took golf lessons so Dad would let me play with him. I was just terrible... but I was able to have a wonderful time just walking around with Dad. I can see the real pleasure of that game.