Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Love: the great connector. Stay Connected

No one can insult me, because I do not want respect.No one can defeat me, because I have given up the idea of winning.How can you defeat me? You can only defeat someone who wants to win.

Anyone who has spent a few nights in a tent during a storm can tell you: The world doesn't care all that much if you live or die.

By self-interest, Man has become gregarious, but in instinct he has remained to a great extent solitary; hence the need of religion and morality to reinforce self-interest.

I don't want to be considered 'the Latino rapper.

I am not a monster. I'm not all bad. Maybe 10 percent. I think I'm 90 percent good.

I'm still waiting for my first big Hollywood paycheck... maybe I'll play a superhero.

We are Fragile, everyone. We all long for something more. Things are said and things are done and the pieces hit the floor. See how fragile.

Each of us-adult or child-must earn nature's gift by knowing nature directly, however difficult it may be to glean that knowledge in an urban environment.

Our attention to each breath keeps us in the now.