Putting isn't golf, greens should be treated almost the same as water hazards: you land on them, then add two strokes to your score.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

Only fools live in the past or carry envy to the present.

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

I read the greens in Spanish, but I putt in English.

Remember you have to be comfortable. Golf is not a life or death situation. It's just a game and should be treated as such. Stay loose.

I never prayed that I would make a putt. I prayed that I would react well if I missed.

Then Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in. I'll caddie for Jack.

I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.

Danzon is my favorite Cuban music, played by a traditional string orchestra with flute and piano. It's very formally structured but romantic music, which derives from the French-Haitian contradance.

When you make friends with fear, it can’t rule you.

A lot of the things that will really improve the world fortunately aren't dependent on Washington doing something different.

There's always been physical suffering in comedy.

Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It's more often a succession of jerks.

These auspicious aspects, which the astrologers subsequently interpreted for me, may have been the causes of my preservation.

Exposure to the arts and culture is enormously valuable.

I don't know if I'll find the cinnamon girl. I think I already did, but I'm still singing, who knows.

That’s the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.

Nobody likes to see that which they've invested in disappear from the face of the earth before they've even died. This is not cool. We can now see what the landmarks, in fact are.