Todd Barry Quotes

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also

I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires

I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors.

People in New York love having roof parties.

I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase

I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place

My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6.

I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.

If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts.

I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I started

I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value.

I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage

Anyone who bombs is my friend.

I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone.

It was actually 3 years between albums. That seems like a long time to me

I loved Australia. I was very successful there

I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate.

I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange.

Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days.

I like Cilantro, but you don't have to.

I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up.

I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all

Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself

I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that.

I must have done everything I had. You go through years where you go through everything you've ever written

It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special.

I have a podiatrist appointment at 2.

I had temping jobs also. I liked the flexibility. There was no asking for time off; you just didn't work.

There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake

I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film

I will not be misquoted!

I haven't done a lot in London. I think comedy over there is how it was over here years ago. There's tons of it, and they're better paid.

And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.

I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that

I don't ban bloggers from my shows. I have a separate line: VIP seating for bloggers.

I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase.