My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something I'm not particularly proud of, but it was that or firearms.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

There certainly was some great mismanagement in the education of those two young men. One has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it.

We can say that wisdom causes us to know, while understanding enables us to act.

Tofu tacos are not Mexican. I think putting tofu on anything and calling it Mexican is an insult to my people.

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.

The concept of happiness has to be reorganised.

The key to life is imagination. If you don't have that, no mater what you have, it's meaningless. If you do have imagination...you can make feast of straw.

Christ does not control his subjects by force, but is King of a willing people. They are, through His grace, freely devoted to His service.

The digital image annihilates photography while solidifying, glorifying and immortalizing the photographic.

No amount of talents, skills or charisma can sustain us the way integrity, character & attitude does.