Comedy is the only hope for humanity.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

This heart belongs to you alone.

Only death can finish the fight, everything else only interrupts the fighting.

Some memories were harder to forget than others. Especially the painful ones.

When you have gained a victory, do not push it too far.

As a true translator you will take care not to translate word for word.

You can never get more by saying "No." You can hold a current position by saying "No", but you can only move forward by saying "Yes."

Comprehensiveness is the enemy of comprehensibility.

Wisdom is founded on memory; happiness on forgetfulness.

I think The Big Picture was such a huge shift from my second record.

Most Beethoven symphonies require 80 or more instruments, and the late romantics even more.