Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Leaders..should influence others..in such a way that it builds people up, encourages and edifies them so they can duplicate this attitude in others.

Why would a comediotic guy like Buzz Aldrin worry about who said what first? He was on the %$#@!+-oon!

There is but an hour a day between a good housewife and a bad one.

The world is not a burden; we make it a burden by our desires. When the desires are removed, the world is as light as a feather on an elephant's back.

Just thinking about a friend makes you want to do a happy dance, because a friend is someone who loves you in spite of your faults.

A slight sound at evening lifts me up by the ears, and makes life seem inexpressibly serene and grand. It may be Uranus, or it may be in the shutter.

None of God's Creatures absolutely consider'd are in their own Nature Contemptible; the meanest Fly, the poorest Insect has its Use and Vertue.

God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west.

How many on their deathbeds wished they'd spent more time at the office - or watching TV? The answer is, No one.

Jesus has done everything for you.