Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.

Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.

I will never vote Democrat again, they are Communists.

Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?

I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised.

Talent is what drives this world ... Doesn’t matter how many satellites you f---ing stick in the air.

I think I could create a cult, no problem. The hard part is getting people to kill themselves.

I'm down with just the Backstreet Boys.

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience.

I've always been about honesty, whether on the radio, whether I did a movie, whether I wrote a book. As long as you're honest, you don't lose your edge.

You've got to be a little vicious. You've got to be narcissistic. You've got to be on fire about your career.

Freedom is a rare gift... Quite easily taken for granted and even more easily taken away.

God made man, but man made the society we live in.

The older I get, the less I know. It's wonderful--it makes the world so spacious.

Stay away from restaurants that have menus in five languages. Thats always a tourist trap. You want to eat where the locals eat.

Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'.

It's hard to be free but when it works, it's worth it!

[American Communist Party] legally exists in the U.S.A., it nominates its candidates in the elections, including Presidential elections.

I feel pretty passionate about what's happening to America.

I’ve never believed in risking what my family and friends have and need in order to pursue what they don’t have and don’t need.