Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun.

Have I thought long to see this morning’s face, And doth it give me such a sight as this?

Don't forget to vote.

Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.

Bones has always been smart," I muttered. "His intelligence was just camouflaged under a mountain of p**sy." Cat

Man will be what he was born to be: free and independent.

I don't have a saviour or a royal family.

I can't imagine what it is like to be raised in a society where their only statues that exist are to you and your father.

I fly around with chicks on each arm and have no script. I just talk about what I feel like. But that's why my act works: I'm like this normal guy.

Hollywood gives a young girl the aura of one giant, self-contained orgy farm, its inhabitants dedicated to crawling into every pair of pants they can find.