You know what I would do? I would remake The Wizard of Oz with Robin Williams, and that's it. Just let him do the whole dang thing by himself.

Here's a guy that when he puts his contacts in, he can see better.

Everything is awesome... Everything is cool when you're a part of a team.

I love John Madden, because he makes me feel smart.

I don't know if you can tell, but I grew up watching a lot of television.

Kim Kardashian is single again. Hey, great. Maybe that will give the NBA players something to do during the lockout.

Speaking of Quarterback nicknames, you hear they're calling Jay Cutler 50 cent? Because you only get two quarters out of him.

I made the grandkids laugh. John Madden finally liked me!

Jay Leno's the only guy on earth who could have a bobble head made of him that would bobble less than his actual head.

I was always working, so I would get reading done very late at night a lot of times.

I chose Journalism by default. I always loved TV, and I had no idea what else to do, so I studied what interested me.

Love with your heart not with your mind, mind is judgmental but heart is kind.

Romance her, enhance her, desire her, put her first.

People are far more interested in what works than what's true.

Words mean little unless you realize the truth of it yourself. And when you do, you'll be free at last.

I look at my work and make up my mind about it. After that, neither flattery nor criticism matters to me.

When I get angry, it's with purpose. My purpose is to solve a problem. And I never lose sight of that.

Everybody in the world knew I was before I knew who I was.

I write in bed, too. I find it very comforting. I want to sort of, like, crawl in a fetal position if I have to.

Some subjects are so serious that one can only joke about them.

I have drunk and seen the spider.