Jay Leno's the only guy on earth who could have a bobble head made of him that would bobble less than his actual head.

Here's a guy that when he puts his contacts in, he can see better.

Everything is awesome... Everything is cool when you're a part of a team.

I love John Madden, because he makes me feel smart.

I don't know if you can tell, but I grew up watching a lot of television.

Kim Kardashian is single again. Hey, great. Maybe that will give the NBA players something to do during the lockout.

Speaking of Quarterback nicknames, you hear they're calling Jay Cutler 50 cent? Because you only get two quarters out of him.

I made the grandkids laugh. John Madden finally liked me!

I was always working, so I would get reading done very late at night a lot of times.

I chose Journalism by default. I always loved TV, and I had no idea what else to do, so I studied what interested me.

Remember: Super Bowl is the biggest day of the year for pizza delivery - so no matter what happens in the game, Peyton Manning wins.

Endurance is the prerogative of woman, enabling the gentlest to suffer what would cause terror to manhood.

The only place where David Duke and I are alike is we are both wizards under the sheets.

Free time keeps me going.

What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.

There's one good kind of writer - a dead one.

A diverse and lively collection, the highest art of the interview.

I never could be good when I was not happy.

You must find the note, the correct key, for your story. If you find it, everything will work. If you do not, everything will stick out like elbows.

The actor has to develop his body. The actor has to work on his voice. But the most important thing the actor has to work on is his mind.

History in general is a collection of crimes, follies, and misfortunes among which we have now and then met with a few virtues, and some happy times.