You have to pretend like you want to use a condom. I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month.

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.

I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.

Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.

I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.

I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

Anyone in this world can have the power of life and death over someone else. It's horrible, but true. All you need to do is take it. And once you have -- there is no going back. (The Killer's Cousin)

When we hear news we should always wait for the sacrament of confirmation.

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.

There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.

To learn from experience, we must remember it, and, for a variety of reasons, memory is a faithless friend.

What I know bores me.

The redbreast whistles from a garden-croft; and gathering swallows twitter in the skies.

Baseball’s absolute unpredictability makes amateurs of us all.

When I play from my mind I get in trouble.

When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain.