Condom Quotes

Condom Quote of the day

I'm the type to have a bullet-proof condom and still gotta pull out.

You know, the condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, then you throw it away.

No one has invented a condom for the pen yet. My pen is still sexy.

When someone is HIV-positive and his partner says, I want to have sexual relations with you, he doesn't have to do that. But when he does, he has to use a condom.

Fear is the condom of life. It doesn't allow you to enjoy things.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

Given a choice between hearing my daughter say "I'm pregnant" or "I used a condom", most mothers would get up in the middle of the night and buy them herself.

It needs to become as easy to get hold of a condom in a poor country as Coca-Cola.

You must always remember, the most important fashion accessory is the condom.

President Bush was in Los Angeles yesterday where he announced his new campaign theme - “Safer, Stronger, and Tested.” Isn't that a condom ad?

Condoms will break, but I can assure you that vows of abstinence will break more easily than condoms.

You have to pretend like you want to use a condom. I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month.

No matter how strong a condom is, it won't protect you from a broken heart.

Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a brown condom full of walnuts.

I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?

Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.

The media is Obama's scandal condom.

but I don't want to wear a condom because I don't feel anything," and she says calmly... glaring at me,"If you don't use one you're not going to feel anything anyway.

The best advice I got from my dad? Wear a condom.

The condom has saved so many lives and it'll save so many more lives. We really owe a great deal to the rubber tree.

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work.

There is not only a lack of success for condoms. It's worse than that - they are utter failures.

Yesterday in Egypt, archaeologists discovered the burial site for the 50 children of Ramses II...Fifty children! What I want to know is, who decided to name a condom after this guy?

I know the Pope is opposed to the use of condoms. All I can say is, I am a spiritual man and I've been happily married for 21 years. I don't even know what a condom is anymore.

I think the Americans fished out the same condom but found it had too many holes in it.

Do you happen to have another Condom? I think I've discovered the cure for headaches.

Oh yeah, this was so comforting. Like a porcupine in a condom factory.’ (Danger)

If we can just get young people to do the same as their fathers did, that is, wear condoms

So, did the costume come with a condom, or is that sold separately?

Some men send me condoms and underpants. I'm not sure what they want.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18 The first time was a nightmare. Who shows you how to use a condom?

Here are my Mommy Messages: Wear a condom and test your Molly.

I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms.

I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.

A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums.

The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It's the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.

Meat is dirty. I wouldn't touch a hot dog without a condom on it

Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.

You know, we are one nation under a god. Yes, you were right. An angry, crack slinging god who decorates with bullets and spent condoms.

I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.

Worry is to human beings … what a condom is to a man with erectile dysfunction.

The difference between a retiring man and a used condom is that the condom isn’t given a golden watch to inspire the illusion that it still matters to whomever that has just used it.

Although every person makes mistakes, not every mistake makes a person.

To some believers, being on the pill or using a condom is a nonverbal way of telling God to go to hell.