You can't fix stupid.

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!

I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.

We never know the quality of someone else's life, though we seldom resist the temptation to assume and pass judgement.

[A] practitioner of any spiritual path must have complete confidence that his adopted path is, for him, superior to all others. (57)

My father greeted me with his usual air of mild regret.

Show me a sensible person who likes himself or herself! I know myself too well to like what I see. I know but too well that I'm not what I'd like to be.

An individual's ability to draw is... the ability to shift to a different-from-ordinary way of processing visual information - to shift from verbal, analytic processing to spatial, global processing.

NATO is going to be just fine.

It's very hard to get other countries to give up their weapons when you're busy developing a new one.

Any seeming deception in a statement is costly, not only in the expense of the advertising but in the detrimental effect produced upon the customer, who believes she has been misled.

Whenever you share love with others, you'll notice the peace that comes to you and to them.

I've not had a mean life.