With comedy, you have to do it right. In a drama, there's a lot of different ways to succeed in a moment. But comedy comes from reality. You can't try to be funny.

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

My whole career strategy has been to build a base so that I could take the roles I want to play. I'd hate to think that a shorter part might not be available because I was worried about my billing.

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

Human beings are always going to find interesting ways of making a mess of their lives. It's human nature.

I don't think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.

Men dominate because of physicality, and thus they have mercy where women do not.

In happiness and suffering, in joy and grief, we should regard all creatures as we regard our own self.

I graciously survived depression, mental-illness and attempt of suicide.

I'm proud of my relationship with 'Star Trek'! 'Star Trek' is a show that I am philosophically compatible with.

I feel an earnest and humble desire, and shall do till I die, to increase the stock of harmless cheerfulness.

Whatever; bling always has something to hide.

Both the dream state and Soul Travel are doors to the same spiritual worlds.

Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word.

Perhaps there are none more lazy, or more truly ignorant, than your everlasting readers.

In meditation we can watch the itch instead of scratching it.

Everything looks different when you're older, not staring up at the world but down upon it.