Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Let’s train ourselves to not hate each other

What? A man who could admit to his feelings? They really do exist!

I'm on the last great journey here--and people ant me to tell them what to pack.

I was never very interested in boys - and there were plenty of them - vying with one another to see how many famous women they would get into the hay.

This is my last election. After my election, I have more flexibility.

That's the nature of sport, if you look at how Europe has performed they have found a way to win but golf is cyclical and there's not much between the teams.

Lincoln had a tremendous capacity for personal growth - more than any other American President.

How can someone who means so much to a person mean nothing the next day?

A lot of adults are very into Halloween.

for Mercutio's soul Is but a little way above our heads, Staying for thine to keep him company: Either thou, or I, or both, must go with him.