When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

From the moment of my birth, I lived with pain at the center of my life. My only purpose in life was to find a way to coexist with intense pain.

Yes, you are right! I am your leftover trash. I hope you know a bum got to eat too. I believe you were one when I met you.

A friendship with the Lord will sustain you in difficult times.

Lost in New York City. Not that I don't know where I am, but rather perplexed as to where I am going.

Death is the privilege of human natureAnd life without it were not worth our takingThither the poor, the unfortunate, and MournerFly for relief & lay their burdens down.

When God wants to bring more power into our lives., He brings more pressure. He is generating spiritual force by friction.

Unless you have money today, you cannot live life according to your need.

Particularly with middle-class people, self-absorption is a struggle.

You have to be careful what you think you know.

The anger on the left - I've never seen anything like it. I mean, they're right now opposing everything. Democrats in the Senate are filibustering absolutely everything.