What do dogs do on their day off?; Can't lie around – that's their job!

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

He thought moving to a small town would allow him to find a way to get along to some extent but people were just plain idiots.

I don't judge those who can't dream, those who need to pierce their arms to create different worlds under their skin, because I am fortunate in the tools of my escapes

I, on the other hand, believe that books, maps, scissors, and Scotch tape dispensers are all unreliable vagrants, likely to take off for parts unknown unless strictly confined to quarters.

He who despairs of the human condition is a coward but he who has hope for it is a fool.

Don't tolerate me as different. Accept me as part of the spectrum of normalcy.

I don't need to be crazy rich and crazy famous. I would just like to keep going.

Everything that is full of life loves change, for the characteristic of life is movement toward a new goal and urges toward new pleasures

Some people won't even own a dog for fear it will die - you can't bubble-wrap your heart.

As we have borne the image of the earthy, let us also bear the image of the heavenly

The mind says there is nothing beyond the physical world; the HEART says there is, and I've been there many times.