Today is Earth Day. The way I see it, as humans the very least we can do is recycle. A lot of recycling is going on this year. For example, Bushes and Clintons.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag.

It's absurd how crazy love can make you......but even more absurd how stupid jealousy can make you!

The higher consciousness are the ones who get the most pain.

Not so the scientist. The very essence of his life is the service of truth.

Josh Duhamel is somebody you can't take your eyes off of, and same with T.R. Knight. It's a car that you want to run up to 100 mph, right away.

When you don't win I think you have to evaluate everybody.

There is no better indicators of character than the books you have.

Maybe what I wanted was stupid. Maybe it wasn't even something I could have. But, still it was mine. I didn't think I could sacrifice my dreams, no matter how much my family meant to me.

In order to be happy oneself it is necessary to make at least one other person happy.

I know I have this image but in reality, if you take all my records, I had to use five or six [tracks].