To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

This is the secret that none dares tell who fights for a cause. Dying, we are all alike.

Programming is much much harder than doing mathematics.

I have yet to meet a person whose favorite movie is Gigli, but I hope to meet them one day and give them a hug.

If you have millions and millions of dollars, you're living in a totally different world. You don't feel it anymore and you've got to feel it.

Once a person knows a kiss and a kind word, you can't blame him for never wanting to live without them again. - "The Bridges of Madison County"

A company and leaders of the company have the responsibility of the precious lives of all the human beings that work there.

Making no mistakes is what establishes the certainty of victory, for it means conquering an enemy that is already defeated.

Jesus is the only Savior, but not everybody who is saved by Him is aware that He is the one who is doing the saving.

The easily ridiculed, so-so status quo often hides Herculean efforts by those whom we take for granted, and who, working in the shadows, guarantee civilization instead of chaos.

Bow, stubborn knees, and, heart with strings of steel, Be soft as sinews of the new-born babe. All many be well.