There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: 'What's your sign?' Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

When you set your mind to achieve something, you must allow yourself the opportunity to get it done.

I cannot tell you how exciting it is when you first see your book in paperback, then when the good reviews roll in it is just the red bow on the present under the tree.

The Lord has turned all our sunsets into sunrise.

We must know the difference between sweat and tears. Sweat is wet. Tears are wet. Sweat is salty. Tears are salty. But progress comes through sweat. Progress never came through tears.

Nobody's more mindful of the sacrifices of our troops than those of us that command them.

Let's all pretend to be someone else, and then perhaps we'll find out who we are.

So many laws argues so many sins.

I grew up as this little Catholic girl who just wanted to make beautiful things. I expressed myself with paint.

A mother isn’t the person who births you; it’s the person who rears you and shows you love.

Had we not loved ourselves at all, we could never have been obliged to love anything. So that self-love is the basis of all love.