There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is every thing desirable, and that bad is even better than none.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.

It's good netiquette to empathize with others online. It builds strong internet relationships. NetworkEtiquette.net

Golf is a game of inches. The most important are the six inches between your ears.

All I wanted was to connect my moods with those of Paris. Beauty pains and when it pained most, I shot.

They were all brilliant. They wrote books and painted pictures, and if they ever stopped talking, which I was sure they would never do, they planned to change the world.

If they cheat, can I shoot them?

The day nothing turns you on - you're dead. No matter how many more years you go on breathing.

India has remained a full, functioning democracy.

You'll nip anybody who's coming at you with bullshit. You don't play around. You take this craft very seriously. It's what separates you, what separates an actor from an artist.

As I grow older I find that though I think I'm saying the same things as I always did, people listen to me more.