Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

Live your dreams. Live your life to the greatest.The more you believe ...the more you will achieve

I went public too soon. Stay private as long as you can.

The present letter is a very long one, simply because I had no leisure to make it shorter.

Who will guard the guards ? If we're the guards of society, then who will watch us and make sure that we're not dangerous?

It is not God's will merely that we should be happy, but that we should make ourselves happy

I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars.

If a man has to say trust me, Gogu conveyed, it's a sure sign you cannot. Trust him, that is. Trust is a thing you know without words.

If you want to become full, let yourself be empty.

Wherever there is love, there the season transforms into spring!

To me the definition of true masculinity - and femininity, too - is being able to lay in your own skin comfortably.