The worst thing you can do with money is save it.

One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.

Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don't like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.

Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.

I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.

The light can only shine in the darkness.

Where do men find it in themselves to do such monstrous things?

Tut, tut. We can't let mere sentiment intrude. This is Science.

Our leaders will serve the common good with better laws and better actions only when we serve it first, by casting better votes.

Some cities are women and must be loved; others are men and can only be admired or bargained with

Become aware of the silent witness that is observing the unfolding of all the external events of your life. This eternal presence is your true Self.

When you're on camera, you can't think of all the technical things.

When I'm in emotional pain, I usually embrace the pain, cry, and let it all out. Then I try to look on the bright side.

Years from now, when cinephiles are asked to name the movies' golden age, they'll say it was when Cate Blanchett was in them.

It has not fallen to your lot to command great armies. You had to create them, organize them and inspire them.