The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture finished and put inside boxes.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Act with purpose, courage, confidence, competence and intelligence until these qualities 'lock in' to your subconscious mind.

When men are oppressed, it's a tragedy. When women are oppressed, it's tradition.

There was some justice in his pain

I've always been wary of marriage.

If the influence of luck is a delusion, then all I can say is that the delusion is virtually universal.

I've always written about things that cause me to feel something.

The funny thing about television is that once you start to do it you never get time to watch it.

If you could stop reflecting, immediately you establish yourself in the ocean of peace.

I'm still picking pockets--I just do it as legally as I can. Being married to a cop limits certain activities.

Go to sleep in peace. God is awake.