The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression.

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever, take up gardening.

My eyebrows could do with a trim.

Don Quixote's 'Delusions' is an excellent read - far better than my own forthcoming travel book, 'Walking Backwards Across Tuscany.'

I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough.

It is more interesting to be compared to someone famous, because it lets you gauge what perceptions people have about your appearance.

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

The moon puts on an elegant show, different every time in shape, colour and nuance.

Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended.

My great hope would be that Quebec would realize itself fully as a distinct part of Canada, and stay Canadian, bringing to Canada a part of its richness.

I never share credit or desserts.

In France one must adapt oneself to the fragrance of a urinal.

Une ample Come die a' cent actes divers, Et dont la sce' ne est l'Univers. A grand comedy in one hundred different acts, On the stage of the universe.

When one does nothing, one believes oneself responsible for everything.

People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't.

Christ is at once the spotless descent of God into men and the sinless ascent of man into God, and the Holy Spirit is the Agent by whom this is accomplished.

In order to learn, you have to be free. You have to be free to experiment, free to try, free to make mistakes.

My favorite actor who played villains - who could play anything, really - was Jimmy Cagney.

Well, I screwed it up real good, didn't I?