Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression.

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever, take up gardening.

My eyebrows could do with a trim.

Don Quixote's 'Delusions' is an excellent read - far better than my own forthcoming travel book, 'Walking Backwards Across Tuscany.'

I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough.

It is more interesting to be compared to someone famous, because it lets you gauge what perceptions people have about your appearance.

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

The moon puts on an elegant show, different every time in shape, colour and nuance.

The real change that paintings undergo is in the perceptions of the viewer.

Art is pain. And so is life.

Maybe she'd never really known her mother at all. And if you couldn't know the person whose body was your first home, then who could you ever know?

He's been injecting the anti-aging hormone into his wife.

Because I was young, I had this long hair, and people used to try to tip me with joints.

There is only one social science and we are its practitioners

Placing blame in marriage is like saying, 'Your side of the boat is sinking.'

Fanny! You are killing me!" "No man dies of love but on the stage, Mr. Crawford.

If the heart stops for more than two minutes, you have massive brain death. There are only two minutes between our conscious world and zero. That's how fragile our consciousness is.

Honeymoon lasts not nowadays above a fortnight.

Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.