The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

The eagle may soar; beavers build dams.

The US has not imposed democracy in Yemen, its people have.

The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

The government is shutting down the coal industry, they say it's cheaper to draw nuclear power off the French grid and cheaper to buy coal from Colombia.

The silver flask called to him.Blue Coyote Motel

if you can’t make a joke at a time like this, what’s the point of living?

You come to realize that only one person can tell you what's expected of you, and that's you.

You do learn from what you've done in the past.

If trying harder doesn't work, try softer.

It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth.

Empires inevitably fall, and when they do, history judges them for the legacies they leave behind.

This little expression, 'It doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere,' is a monstrous lie.

The dominant party cannot reign forever, and truth and justice will prevail at last.

We need only in cold blood to act as if the thing in question were real and it will infallibly end by growing into such a connection with our life that it will become real.