The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Everything flows and nothing stays.

Revenge is never pretty and often leaves you empty.--Alexandria "Dria" McAndrews

And so it is inevitable that the day has come when we write about privacy with such nostalgia, analysing it as we would some unearthed fossil of a creature our human eyes had never fallen on.

If it don't touch my soul then I can't listen to it.

A yokel mind loves stories from of old, Being the kind it can repeat and hold.

We cannot always assure the future of our friends; we have a better chance of assuring our future if we remember who our friends are.

I have a sneaking suspicion that all religions lead to the same place, a very unified place.

I think that's part of the fun of being an actor - you get to not be normal all of the time.

Some actors - you work with them once and don't even think about working with them again.

I'm a Muslim and I'm really looking forward to my wedding day. I can't wait to meet my husband.