That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

There is a harbour to be reached, after the storm has abated!

I really don't want to go in a place and to repeat the stuff like to watch Limitless all day, one moment I get bored I need to focus on something else.

When you have a dark side, nothing is ever as good as it seems.

I like to be aggressive. I like to swing the bat.

When we approach history, we are dealing with a conglomeration of irrational continua. Those who deal with history by nonrational processes are the ones who make history, the actors in it.

I don't pretend to know everything; I just only speak on matters I know I'll win.

When you pursue great flavor, you also pursue great ecology.

After Barack Obama won the 2008 presidential election, I was heartened to see him issue an Open Government Initiative on his first full day in office.

If you are content, you have enough to live comfortably.

The future belongs to he who has the bishops.