Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Where God gives opportunity for preaching it is more than likely that he has some people to convert. Usually the Word of God takes root among some, though often in but a few.

It's something in me, deep down, that makes me different in a race.

Half-man, half-beast, all nightmare. The shapeshifter warrior form.

For me, the lame part of the Sixties was the political part, the social part. The real part was the spiritual part.

Without territory, it does not even have the resources to provide detention facilities for prisoners, even if it were interested in holding captured POWs.

It is not that we don't have faith it is just that Satan is trying to destroy our faith with lies.

I read so many scripts, that I don't do that much leisurely reading of books.

I once did a - the first piece on Malcolm X that anyone had ever seen in the - white press.

Of all the affections which attend human life, the love of glory is the most ardent.

If you are a good giver, you will be great getter. The less you need, the more you attract.