TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing - is there anything you can do?

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

Justin's fan are called Beliebers because it's politically incorrect to use the word retards.

I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?

Do not quit too soon. The future is bright like a shining diamond.

The key to a self-fulfilled life lies in consistent selfless deeds.

The man in Christ rose again, not only the God.

Getting a tattoo would probably make me cry.

a most excellent man, though I could have wished his trousers not quite so tight in some places and not quite so loose in others.

If wishes were fishes we'd all be throwing nets. If wishes were horses we'd all ride.

Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent.

Many think they have a kind heart who have only weak nerves.

Everybody matters. Everyone just wants to be heard.

If you're the Olympic champion then they have to wait four more years to get you again.