Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Many women experience a sense of pressure that men rarely do—the pressure to succeed at work and to keep things running smoothly at home, especially when children arrive on the scene.

Music felt married to place, and the notion of "somewhere" predated the Internet's seeming invention of "everywhere" (which often ends up feeling like "nowhere").

Your image is your brand and you have only one opportunity to make that first impression. Choose to make a positive first impression.

If you learn from every mistake, you never fail at anything.

We all have the greatest potential. Life is about finding it, embracing it and then learning to be with it in the world without fear of prejudice or judgment.

Sometimes the world is just out of our control and we like to blames ourselves so that we can make sense out of it.

I have always thought of myself as a painter derailed by circumstance.

How we preserve time for family is one of the most significant issues we face in most cultures.

Work hard...have fun...be nice...play fair...dream big. We only get one chance at this life. If you're going to play this game, play it to win.

You should therefore say: alone in one's boat, alone with one's care, alone with one's despair, which one is craven enough to want rather to keep than submit to the pain of being healed.