Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can't handle alcohol. The police know who you are.

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.

There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.

Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?

When you go to Hawaii, it's all about "Aloha." It means hello, goodbye and I love you.

You live by the cake, you die by the cake.

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.

If the moment is everthing, then everything is time.

I was glad to be made awarethat “Veimke” (jeune fille au pair), is subject to natural law, and can be made fat, by such things as poor diet, and alcohol.

Most experts suggest that one should open with a joke. Obviously they've never heard me tell a joke.

The story of the eighties will be the story of the Reagan administration and the many men and women who served in it, some of whom are already out on parole.

I write plays not to make money, but to stop myself from going mad. Because it's my way of making the world rational to me.

The simplest and most familiar truth seems new and wonderful the instant we ourselves experience it for the first time.

If we want things to be okay, we will have to make things okay.

A white face goes with a white mind. Occasionally a black face goes with a white mind. Very seldom a white face will have a black mind.

While doing sadhana you must quieten your mind and keep awake the Purusha consciousness behind all your activities.

Writers, like elephants, have long, vicious memories. There are things I wish I could forget.