So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.

Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."

My gym has two-pound weights. If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym? What's your dream? To pump up and open your mail?

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.

Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

Music is the language of all. It tames the savage beast and allows us to get over heartbreak. It helps us express what we really want to say and it has the power to lift hearts and awaken our souls….

Happiness is simply a habit of looking on the brighter side of everything.

Vengeance is a monster of appetite, forever bloodthirsty and never filled.

It was one of those moments when you feel the future so much that it humbles the present.

I wasn't a child star, so hopefully I can keep my head on straight.

I think there's some stuff that's at least photographically interesting. There are things I back off from trying to talk about.

Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.

Simply by our proximity to Jesus, we can bring hope and life to people and places trapped in discouragement and despair.

In this tour around the world I was not interested in contemporary buildings because I had seen contemporary buildings actually until they came out of my ears in a sense.

...it's not just learning that's important. It's learning what to do with what you learn and learning why you learn things that matters.