Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

We can't predict what's going to happen, but having love is worth the risk.

Those who assume a character which does not belong to them, only make themselves ridiculous.

I feel very happy to be living in Berkeley because there are a lot of people who are politically active here.

I worked so hard all my life, and all I want to do now is read.

Certainly I've never tried to imagine what the future will hold. It's a hopeless endeavor to try to do such a thing.

Has science ever retreated? No! It is Catholicism which has always retreated before her, and will always be forced to retreat.

You know, that's all basketball is. If someone loves something, and you take it away, it's like what does he do now? What does someone do? That's what happened with me.

If your objective is to tell time, you will not buy a mechanical watch. You have the time on your phone.

If the roads are in trouble, if bridges are in trouble, and if schools are in trouble, it's because somebody in Washington wanted to pay for something else.

Someone like myself, who claimed to be a real madman, living and organized with a Pythagorean precision.