REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

There is an intelligent healing process inside of you that knows how to absorb pain and transform it into wisdom.

Life has its sunshine and its rain, sir... its days and its nights... its peaks and its valleys...

I believe in the American Dream because I have lived the American Dream.

In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.

Labels want my name beside a X like Malcolm

Accents are very sexy. American girls who speak French are very attractive to a Frenchman. Anything exotic or different is attractive.

I can alter my life by altering my attitude. He who would have nothing to do with thorns must never attempt to gather flowers.

I did not start IC and Inteam to have control over my music. I had control before and after.

Think not disdainfully of death, but look on it with favor; for even death is one of the things that Nature wills.

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.