Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

I'm not sure I can think of any scenario more enjoyable than making 55,000 people from New York shut up.

I gave thee what could not be heard What had not been given before The beat of my heart I gave !

You are going somewhere. Every day. Every experience you get. You're moving forward.

I absolutely love Vancouver! One, because the city is beautiful and very easily walkable, and two, because the city keeps giving me work!

Although, people make mistakes in their lives, and you could say that the mistakes make us who we are, by how we respond to them. I just don't want to play boring good guys.

What better preparation for a history which seeks to bring societies to life and to understand that life than to have really lived, commanded men, suffered with them and shared their joys.

Beauty is found in the way you treat others.

Let those be thy choicest companions who have made Christ their chief companion.

John Clare, in his poem To a Fallen Elm, makes the tree a selfmark as well as a landmark.

The habits and language of clandestinity can intoxicate even its own practitioners.