People in bigger towns are very aware of their surroundings. The people in the smaller markets, they will show up with flip-flops and shorts and just kind of already have a buzz on.

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

I'm not used to getting good reviews.

My name might be similar, but I'd never say 'Laters, baby.

... there are a lot of shredders in country music - Redd Volkaert, Brent Mason, Dan Huff .. and guys like that

When I was old enough, I was 21 years of age, I decided to come to America. I did it illegally so I jumped the border. I didn’t speak any English.

I think writing is one of the toughest things.

[Niccolò] Machiavelli said it's better to be feared than to be loved.

Chicago is a lot of my background as a chef.

Sometimes you can forget about who you are in a relationship. But you can also be inspired by the person you are with to become something you always knew you wanted to become.

Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.

I don't really plan. I'm almost intuitive about things.

When opting out from partnership is so easy, every minor disagreement is perceived as a major catastrophe and irreparable disaster.