Our cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.

A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).

When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke.

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.

If I have a talent for making some fourth-grader who hates school and reading to hate it a little less, then I have to do the most with what I've been issued.

In writing I found something I could do at least as well as my peers, if not better.

I love the semicolon; it's unnecessary, but graceful and sophisticated.

Relationships only work in a spiritual sense when you and I really see that we are one.

I did what any American could and should do: serve his country in its time of need.

I came to Freud for facts. I read 'The Interpretation of Dreams' and I thought- 'Oh, here is a man who is not just theorizing away, here is a man who has got facts.

We should accept diversity in culture and tradition and coexist peacefully.

Whatever goal you give to your subconscious mind, it will work night and day to achieve.

And now the herald lark Left his ground-nest, high tow'ring to descry The morn's approach, and greet her with his song.

I'm not trying to say something super complicated. I allow myself to say certain things that mean a lot to me.

For me the fascination with biography is the life of the individual in the context of history.

There is no higher qualification than genuine inspiration.

I'm not avoiding specifics, but I've always written songs from more of a global standpoint.